I'm Breaking Up With You
Dear Organic Grapes,
I’m breaking up with you. It’s not you it’s me.
I guess, I just need a grape that doesn’t cost $10/lb. and gets mushy 3 hours after purchase.
I’ll never forget the fun time we had when I smugly served you to my Mah Jongg group. They politely ate you, all the while gazing longingly at the sugar cookies.
I’m sure you’ll make some fruit consumer really happy. Someone who will appreciate your musty taste and showy certified label.
If this means I have to settle for genetically modified grapes encrusted with pesticide, I guess that’s my loss.
So, goodbye and you’ll make someone else very lucky, or at least self-satisfied.