Guess what a winter wonderland looks like. It looks like this:

Seriously, the sun and palm trees are the wonder part. It’s not amazing to have cold and snow in the winter. No one stands in awe and wonderment, ”Oh, look. It’s February, I live in the Northeast US, and it’s snowing. Who’d a thunk it?”

Synonyms for wonder range from “astonishment” to “marvel.” Antonyms are “certainty” and “expectation.” And everyone expects snow in the winter.

You want to know what I would wonder at? Not having my shoulders hunched against my ears. Not putting on 3 layers of clothing to tolerate my 100-year-old drafty house. (Oh, look how charming the windows are? Screw you, my past house-hunting self who uttered those words.)

Garrison Keillor says that weather is not a personal experience. There’s no use in complaining about it, we’re all experiencing it together.

Yet, I believe I am one of those people more adversely affected by lower temperatures than most.

I am a delicate hothouse flower. I require warmth and yes, humidity. The human body is 60% water. Why should some water in the air bother me? Bring on the 95 degrees and 100% humidity. I thrive.

I’ve only ever been too hot twice in my life. Once, when I was 2 weeks past my due date in late August. I had gained a whopping 70 pounds and carried a 9.5 pound baby around in me during a record heat wave. Second, was when I spent the month of May in Southern India. There’s a reason that no one travels to India in May. 120 degrees in the shade and a bout of Delhi belly led to a fainting spell on a train.

So when people in the dog days of summer ask, “Is it hot enough for you?” my answer is a resounding “No.”