This is a reprise of a previous post. My continual consumption of Chinese food means more and more fortune cookies.

As I’ve said before, I love the sweet gummy slightly tasteless cookie. And I get irrationally excited about opening the fortunes. Even though most of the time those fortunes are boring platitudes. Yet every once in a while, I come across one that proves there are professional writers working at the fortune cookie factory.

Here are some recent ones that warrant comment.

What are you trying to tell me, of fortune cookie? Am I lingering too long after dinner? How can you possibly know I’m close to deadline? And why so bossy about it? Sheesh. (also please excuse the garlic sauce stain)

I always thought the saying was “good things come to those who wait.” Ignoring the male normative pronoun, I still have problems with this one. Why would I wait for bad things? And how is this anything different than “it’s always in the last place you look.” Of course, everything is coming to the waiting person, they’re WAITING.

Here’s one written by someone who has never been on facebook.

More proof there is no social media in the fortune cookie factory:

And here’s one proving fortune cookie authors have a clear understanding of the creative process