- Kate Forest
Aging Not So Gracefully
Soon, I’ll be turning an age that ends in a 9. That’s worse than turning an age that ends in 0. Because in the 0 birthdays, they throw you a party, there are mugs, and special plates at the party store. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather get older than the alternative. They say it’s how you feel on the inside that counts, but my insides are the parts that don’t feel so great.
Here’s a list of things I do that show my age:
Eating plain yogurt for breakfast. PLAIN yogurt. Like without fruit or sugar. This is usually accompanied by plain oatmeal. PLAIN oatmeal. Sign me up for the early bird special. I’m clearly ramping up for when my teeth no longer work.
I bring a little cardigan with me everywhere I go. Even in summer, because you know some places have too much air conditioning and it could get chilly. This is offset by random waves of producing more sweat than any human should be able to generate. (That’s a topic for another post)
(well hello sweater dude)
Sleeping late. HAHAHA. Just kidding. I haven’t slept late in years. Despite having kids that are teens and no longer wake me in the morning, I cannot sleep past 730AM. I used to be the queen of sleeping late. I could roll over and stay cocooned in the sheets until noon or later. Now, even if it’s not a bladder call, my eyes pop open at 730 and my brain says, “You’re old. If you don’t get up and enjoy one of your last days on earth you’ll miss out.” So, I get up and do the old person shuffle to the coffee pot.
Only I don’t go to the coffee pot because I drink tea. YEP. Chamomile. And yes, it goes with the yogurt and oatmeal. But even more horrifying is that I have in my purse no less than three wrapped tea bags. Because they might not have chamomile where I’m going. You know, the place that might be chilly. They also might not have the tea I like.
I bought loose fitting workout pants with pockets. It was the pockets that sold me. And these pants aren’t even for a good old-fashioned jog. Nope. They’re for a fast walk with my other old friends. And guess what we talk about on our walks. Yep, sweaters and breakfast. Those pockets are essential because we park our cars and need a place to keep our keys and phones. And pockets are an old person’s best friend. I can fit my tea bags in there.