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  • Kate Forest

Yet More Unfortunate Cookies

From time to time, I’ve posted pictures of fortunes I’ve extracted from those gummy, slightly almond, slightly orange flavored cookies. I used to have to wait months until I amassed enough interesting fortunes to write a post. Evidence shows that I’ve been eating way too much Chinese food.

Here’s the latest batch:

If Werner Heisenberg wrote fortune cookies and was messy with the garlic sauce this would be what he produced. I guess the uncertainly principle applies to cookies. I can never truly measure change, not that I was trying to measure change. I was simply trying to change my state of hunger without cooking.

I’ve thought long and hard about this one. Just kidding, I spent about forty seconds sussing it out. Some might claim it’s purely circular logic. But if you take it along with the change-y nature one above, it means you can never measure the difference anyway. Mic drop.

This one was clearly written by the care manager at my health insurance company, at least based on my “explanation of benefits” statement. (Spoiler alert: “explanation of benefits” means they will explain how unbeneficial your plan is).

This one requires a degree in archeology to decipher the words. But even without that, I think we can Dead Sea Scroll our way through this. The top line is the second half of a fortune that seems to say that we can only change our life though change and not to depend on chance. The bottom one starts, “Your luck is about to change…” Contradictory messages on the same slip. Which are we to believe? How can I possible plan my life goals if the fortunes aren’t clear? Ambiguity, just like the Dead Sea Scrolls…

Well at least I have an almost perfect day to look forward to. Maybe my luck will change and my insurance company will pay the doctor. But as soon as I try to measure the amount of perfect my day is, I’ll change the amount of perfect. I’d better eat some more dumplings.

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