-2018 Golden Leaf Award winner-
September 16, 2015
Dear Organic Grapes,
I’m breaking up with you. It’s not you it’s me.
I guess, I just need a grape that doesn’t cost $10/lb. and gets mushy 3 hours after purchase.
I’ll never forget the fun time we had when I smugly served you to my Mah Jongg group. They politely ate you, all the while gazing longingly at the sugar cookies.
I’m sure you’ll make some fruit consumer really happy. Someone who will appreciate your musty taste and showy certified label.
If this means I have to settle for genetically modified grapes encrusted with pesticide, I guess that’s my loss.
So, goodbye and you’ll make someone else very lucky, or at least self-satisfied.
Yet More Unfortunate Cookies
November 13, 2019
Desperate Things I Do to Stay Young
October 16, 2019
Aging Not So Gracefully
September 18, 2019
Landscaping for the City Girl
August 14, 2019
The Play’s Barely the Thing
July 17, 2019
An In-Complete and Un-Funny Guide to Dating
June 12, 2019
Welcoming My Robot Overlords
May 15, 2019
Aqua Fit for the Not So Young at Heart
April 17, 2019
March 13, 2019
Happy New Year
February 5, 2019